


shit, let's watch con air

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bad Writing, Earth C (Homestuck), M/M, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, References to Depression, theres a few kiss scenes whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:27:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24653848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: When John Egbert finished the game, he knew he should be happy. His friends were happy, living lives that they only would have dreamed of, back on Earth. Even Karkat’s anger issues were fading with time, and Dave’s ironic coolkid facade was let go a little, in favor of genuine expressions.But John wasn’t happy, and he’s only now starting to see that maybe that’s an okay thing to be. He shouldn’t spend all his time wallowing in his big, empty house. He shouldn’t blame the game, or his friends, for the way things turned out. He needs to get out and live a little. At least, that’s what his therapist says. And for once, John can’t help but agree.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26





	shit, let's watch con air

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, Okay, this is the first Homestuck fic I'm posting! I did the whole thing, including coding the pesterlogs, in like, four hours so I could send it in the mail, so if this is an incoherent shitshow, I apologize.  
> Also, This is a gift for my total bffsie, I won't say his name, but I wrote this for him! The whole fic got re-written down on paper so I could send it in the mail for him! He's a really great dude, so yeah, if you're reading this, I love you kid, <>. Just get an ao3 account soon, gosh.

John walks out of the airy common room, bristling at the sudden draft that seemed to have blown out of nowhere. He pulls his hair back out of his eyes, looking around. His therapist had said that it was best to enjoy things like the weather and scenery, without getting caught up in his own head. He looks out at the empty, too blue sky, the dried leaves fluttering across the asphalt, and the billowing winds seemingly doing their best to knock passerby off their feet, and smiles. He can’t help but compare it to home. Many a day in Washington felt like this, but none with such clear skies.

He wraps his scarf tighter around his neck, for a moment wishing he had worn his pajamas. They always seemed to keep him at the right temperature, never too warm or cool. He shakes his head at the thought, though, snorting a little to himself. He would attract the press, wouldn’t he? Maybe they would think he was cosplaying. As he walks down the sidewalk to his house, crunching on dried leaves, he checks his messages. He winces at all the ignored texts from worried friends, knowing now that he should have asked them for help instead of locking himself away in a hole of depression. He pulls up a specific text from Dave, one that had caused him to panic and rush to schedule an emergency meeting with his therapist, the one he just got out of.

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering  ectoBiologist [EB]  
TG: hey john  
TG: i know you arent talking to us  
TG: but karkat and i wanted to invite you to the movies  
TG: we got con air going  
TG: youve just seemed kind of weird lately and were all worried about you  
TG: karkats freaking out about you not being there for the photo thing which is in like two weeks  
TG: oh yeah im in a gallery but i got to be anonymous so being a god doesnt skew things  
TG: you know how it is  
TG: so yeah con air is playing tomorrow  
TG: just please respond bro  
EB: hey dave, good luck on the 'photo thing'!  
EB: sorry for being a big idiot.  
TG: oh shit you answered  
TG: well yeah you should be  
TG: pretty much blowing off everyone for a year and a half  
TG: but im not mad  
TG: well not super mad  
TG: ill get over it  


He hugs his phone to his chest, grinning. Dave can be so forgiving. He didn't even ask why John hadn’t talked to him, or anyone, for so long. That’s most of the reason he didn’t want to contact anyone again, explaining why he stopped talking to them in the first place might bring everything back and put him in a bad place again.

EB: yeah, i’m a total idiot, i’ll tell you about it later.  
EB: i can’t say much right now  
TG: you make it sound like classified info  
TG: oh shit the fbis on your ass arent they  
TG: wait im being a dick arent i  
TG: ill stop  
EB: haha, it's fine  
EB: hey dave?  
TG: sup egderp  
EB: i’ll go to the movies with you guys, okay?  
EB: i’m trying to start talking to people again.  
TG: oh sweet let me tell karkles

He frowns at his phone, putting it back in his jeans pocket. Dave sure left quickly. His phone buzzes a few more times, but he focuses on getting home, grabbing his keys and fiddling with the rusted lock before finally getting it open with a particularly forceful burst of wind. He shuts the door behind him, locking it with his powers instead of bothering to turn around and do it manually. He unwraps his scarf, hanging it on a hook, and does the same with his jacket. He flies around his house, looking for his laptop. He doesn’t care to fly in public, as to not attract reporters and other news personnel, but in the comfort of his own home, he enjoys it. 

He lets out a short whoop of surprise when he finally finds his laptop in one of the cabinets in the living room, enveloped in a thick layer of dust. He blows it off, a gesture that would do nothing if he hadn’t used his powers to make the exhale more powerful. Man, he hasn’t touched this thing in a while, he was too busy having loser-y depressed feelings. He opens it up, and fires up Pesterchum. It seems like Dave added him to a memo while he was flying about.

turntechGodhead [TG] created memo on board its movie time yall  
turntechGodhead [TG] added ectoBiologist [EB] to memo.  
turntechGodhead [TG] added carcinoGeneticist [CG] to memo.  
CG: WAIT, YOU ACTUALLY GOT HIM TO GO?  
CG: LOCAL SHUT-IN JOHN EGBERT IS GOING TO THE MOVIES WITH US?  
TG: yeah dude its gonna be sweet  
CG: JUST TELL ME HOW YOU MANAGED IT.  
TG: why dont you just ask him man  
TG: i didnt do much to be honest  
TG: i just asked  
EB: haha sorry karkat for ignoring you.  
EB: along with everybody else.  
EB: :(  
CG: GOG, YOU SHOULD BE. A YEAR AND A HALF. AND YOU’RE ANNOYING, SURE, BUT NOT LEVELS OF ANNOYING TO WARRANT YOU FUCKING OFF TO YOUR HOUSE FOR SO LONG.  
CG: IT WASN’T EVEN ENJOYABLE. I WOULD ONLY BE HAPPY IF DAVE FUCKED OFF FOR THAT LONG.  
TG: rude  
EB: yeah i was being a big dumb dumb!  
EB: but things are better now! i’ve got new meds and i feel great!  
TG: not to be insensitive but  
CG: TOO LATE.  
TG: fuck off im trying to not be a dick this is hard for me  
TG: anyways  
TG: i didnt know you needed meds john  
EB: yeah, things got kinda bad, and everything was dumb. i guess i wanted things to stop being dumb, but they wouldn’t stop being dumb.  
CG: THAT IS THE WORST DESCRIPTION OF DEPRESSION I’VE EVER HEARD.  
EB: sorry! :B  
TG: man that seriously blows  
TG: like damn  
EB: it’s whatever.  
EB: anyways, why's karkat freaking out about the photo thing?  
CG: THANKS FOR THAT, DAVE. I AM TOTALLY IN CONTROL OF MY EMOTIONS, FOR YOUR INFORMATION.  
TG: haha yeah sure buddy you were totally panicking about whether id have a good time or not its kinda adorable no homo  
TG: hey thats not important kk lets go to the mall  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK, WHY?  
TG: i need new clothes for the movie tomorrow  
CG: I DOUBT JOHN GIVES A SINGLE SHIT ABOUT WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE.  
EB: sorry dave, karkat’s right. i don’t care what clothes you’re wearing, as long as you’re there!  
TG: okay but i want to go to the mall  
TG: cmon kark  
TG: we can literally walk there  
TG: or fly idgaf  
TG: dont you want to show off that ass to the press  
CG: FUCK YOU. JUST. FUCK. YOU.  
TG: nah id rather go to the mall  
TG: okay bye john see you tomorrow im going to the mall  
CG: I’M NOT GOING.  
EB: bye dave, bye karkat. have fun at the mall!  
CG: FOR THE LAST TIME, I’M NOT FUCKING GOING.  
turntechGodhead [TG]  closed memo.  


The next day, John wakes up with a start, the blaring of his alarm jolting him abruptly out of sleep. He looks over to see the time, five thirty, flashing on the clock in a bright blue. Today’s movie day! He pushes the button to turn off the sound, and rolls out of bed. He turns the shower to cold and stands under it, shivering. It’s been tough, getting back into a routine after his episode, but he’ll get the hang of it, eventually. He wraps up his shower, and covers himself in a towel. Walking to his closet, he sighs, wondering what to wear. Usually, he’d wear his green slimer shirt, but it’s too cold. He sighs, shifting his shirts around their racks. He grabs out a long sleeved blue and black striped shirt, pulling it on, before grabbing a bomber jacket he stole from Dave a long time ago. He slips on his usual jeans. 

Grabbing his phone, he checks the time. It’s only six-ish. He hover-flies over to the kitchen, grabbing his pills from the counter and taking them. He makes a smoothie, and drinks it slowly, scrolling through texts from his friends over the months. He decides to respond to Rose, thinking that she might understand.

ectoBiologist [EB]  began pestering  tentacleTherapist [TT]   
EB: hey rose.  
EB: i’m an idiot.  
TT: Why would you say that?  
EB: i think you know.  
TT: If you are, in fact, referring to the ‘ignoring everyone you know for a year and change’ thing, then yes, you are an idiot.  
EB: ...yeah.  
TT: So, what’s so special about today?  
EB: i’m going to the movies with dave and karkat. con air is showing!  
TT: so you’ve started talking to me again because of Con Air. How in-character of you.  
EB: well that’s not all of it, obviously!  
TT: Do tell.  
EB: look, he invited me, and he said that you guys were worried about me. i didnt believe it, so i went to my therapist and she told me that you were probably worried, even if you never said it. i guess i realized that i’ve been being really dumb to you guys, not telling you anything about what’s going on.  
EB: i just needed time to myself, you know?  
EB: oh also i have contracted depression apparently.  
TT: I’m not certain ‘contracted’ is the right word choice.  
TT: But I understand your actions, even if I don’t necessarily agree with them. Please do tell us, next time you decide to disappear?  
EB: i don’t think i will! i’ve been a nerd idiot and it won’t happen again, i promise!  
TT: Just so you know, I’m holding you to that promise.  
TT: Goodbye, John.  
tentacleTherapist [TT]  ceased pestering  ectoBiologist [EB]   


Of course, Rose would still be skeptical, thinking that he might drop out of pesterchum, and everyone’s lives, by extension. It’s understandable, not everyone can be like Dave, blindly accepting things when it comes to his friends. John shoves on his old pair of yellow converse, and walks out, it’s almost time for him to meet up with everyone. He flies up above his house, not caring about the press, for once. It’s been too long, since he saw Dave and Karkat in person. Thank god he shaved the night before, he didn’t want their first official meet up to be them teasing him about his stubble.

John touches down at the theaters, sighing a little when he spots two familiar faces standing outside. 

“Dave, oh my god!” he rushes over to crush Dave in a bear hug. His face hurts, that’s how hard he’s grinning. Stepping back, he gives Dave a once-over. His hair is less hard and sticky, and more natural, though you can tell he hasn’t abandoned the gel entirely. He’s wearing a thin, red, jacket, with his long sleeved record shirt underneath. He’s wearing suit pants, the red ones from his red puppet tux. Despite sounding like a complete disgrace of fashion, the outfit fits together quite nicely. 

John turns to Karkat, hugging him a little softer than he had hugged Dave. Karkat shoves him away after a few seconds, grumbling. He’s wearing the same sweater he’s worn all his life, unless he just has a lot of the same type of sweater. He’s wearing black jeans, skin tight but ripped in the knees. John has a feeling Dave bought them for him. 

“You guys, I missed you so much, but I need popcorn,” John says, walking past them and into the cinema. It’s the same as all the theatres he’s remembered; shitty patterned carpeting, high ceilings, and cardboard cut-out ads for new movies.

He orders a bucket of popcorn, smiling as Karkat complains about his having too much butter. They get the tickets, and sit just outside for a while, the movie isn’t due to start yet. 

“So, when did you guys start dating?” John asks, hoping to start a conversation about all the things he’s missed. Dave chokes on a piece of popcorn, coughing to get it to go down the right tube. Karkat stares at John, his eyes bugging out.

“Wh-” Dave starts, but is interrupted by a large coughing fit. He clears his throat, and continues. “Where’d you hear that we were dating?” He says, looking totally mortified. 

“Oh, you guys aren’t dating? I totally thought you were, but I guess not.” John shrugs. He’d been so sure, after just standing in line with them. The way they looked at each other, the way they talked about each other, it sounded like couples-talk, but he supposes he must have been wrong. “Well, my bad. You just looked it.”

“Well, the relationship between me and karkalicious is totally platonic.” Dave says, frowning. “Cant bros just be bros?” he grabs another handful of popcorn to hide his embarrassment. Karkat says nothing, just keeps staring at John.

“Well yeah, but you guys live together, and I don’t know, it’d be cute,” John says, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. 

“It’d be cute!” Karkat finally bursts out. “Oh, yeah, It’d be fucking adorable,” he continues, standing up and waving his arms around. “God damn, it’s none of your business, and why would you even think that I would like Dave? Like, look at him. He never stops talking, and everything he says is meaningless bullshit that nobody cares about, but he keeps talking, going on and on like a broken record. I can’t fathom how you would ever think that I would like this utter failure of a human being!” His cheeks are a bright red, either from anger or embarrassment. He growls, like an animal, and stamps into the theatre, disappearing from sight. 

Dave rubs his neck, his lips turned down. “Well, I just got burned,” he says awkwardly, grabbing his things. “If I don’t come back before the movie’s supposed to start, just go inside without me.” He grabs John’s shoulder, giving it a small squeeze. “Oh, this has actually happened before, he went crazy about it last time. He’d go apeshit about something else if you hadn’t said anything.” It cheers John up a little, but Dave still wears that look on his face, as though he’s upset. Maybe what Karkat said is actually getting to him.  
John sits on a small metal bench right outside the theatre. He grabs a few popcorn kernels, eating them absentmindedly he can’t help but feel as though he’s messed it all up, and considers leaving the theatre entirely. 

Why does he have to fuck it all up by opening his mouth?

^^^

Karkat exploded at Dave’s expense, again. He can’t focus on anything, he just has to take a moment, take a breather, re-evaluate all of his life choices.  
This is why he is sitting in a bathroom stall, his hands wrapped around his knees up on the seat. He tries to calm down, to justify his total meltdown, but he can’t get Dave’s smile out of his head. It’s lopsided, but only slightly, a tad to the right. His hair, a soft pale blonde, his eyes, a burning crimson.  
Someone is coming into the restroom. “Karkat?” he calls out, softly. It’s Dave.

“Get the fuck out, Strider,” he yells, and he winces. He really doesn’t want to have to see Dave and fall for him all over again. Karkat hears Dave walk slowly over to the stall he was shouting from. 

“What are you, in high school? Hiding in a restroom stall?” Dave says, and he hears him lean against the stall door. 

“Look, I would like to have a meltdown in fucking peace,” he says angrily, rubbing his eyes. He can almost hear Dave frowning.

“Do you hate me, Karkat?” He says it quietly, and the way his voice is laced with buried emotion catches you off guard.

“What the fuck? Dave, no. That was me freaking out.” He stands up.

“It’s just, you had a lot of not so nice things to say, and if you had them so readily available maybe they aren’t too far from the truth,” Dave says. He hears him as he slides down to the tiled floor, his back against the stall door, his head leaning back. 

“No, I just- fuck, Dave, that’s not it,” Karkat says, pounding his head against the wall in frustration. He knew exactly what to say because it’s what he’s been trying to tell himself. He’s in the deep end of denial, but he has to accept it. He’s hopelessly in love with Dave, and the other boy has no knowledge of it.

“You’re great, I’m just a fucking lunatic. Can we go see that movie?” He unlatches the door, opening it a crack. Dave stands up, moving back out of the way. 

Karkat smiles when he sees him, and grasps his arm briefly before walking over to the sink. Dave seems a little on edge, but otherwise alright. He looks relieved, even. Splashing some water on his face, Karkat says, “Hey, honestly. I didn’t mean any of it, I was panicking and embarrassed,” he says it all with a level of honesty he hasn’t used in a long time, trying to ease the tension.

“Oh, yeah dude, just, you know, knight complex thinking everything’s my fault again, you know how it is,” he says casually. Karkat scans his face, but he really does seem pleased about Karkat opening up to him. 

After he dries his face, they walk out of the bathroom together, Dave checking the time. The movie started a few minutes ago, so they head to screen three. Shuffling through the dark hall, Dave stumbles, his shades making it harder to see. Karkat, who had been grasping his arm for balance, tumbles as well. They land in a heap on the floor, and Dave hovers a few inches from the floor to avoid tripping. 

“Hey, douche, I’m down here,” Karkat says, laying flat on his back in the middle of the auditorium. “I’m just going to lay here forever,” he adds stubbornly. He’s tired, okay?

Dave laughs a little, and scoops him up bridal style, despite his numerous protests. He hovers, gliding above the steps. “Shut up, this is faster,” his mouth quirks up into a small smirk. “And you’re loving every minute of this, it’s straight from the romcoms,” he continues. That fucker.

“Shut the fuck up,” Karkat says, but his hands are covering his face. He’s totally blushing. Dave is carrying him, the man of his literal fucking dreams is carrying him like they just got hitched. Holy shit, This is the best thing that has ever happened to him. They find John, and sit beside him, grabbing his popcorn, having finished their own long before. 

“You guys, you blocked the screen!” John says teasingly, punching Dave on the arm. 

“Well, hope they got a nice shot of that for the news, ‘Karkat Vantas and Dave Strider, Two Knights in Love.’ I can see it now,” Dave says, a shit-eating grin on his face.

The first half of the movie goes by quickly, John smiling at the nostalgia, Karkat analyzing every scene, and Dave bashing Nic Cage more than watching the movie. Karkat stands up halfway through, announcing loudly that he would like to get a slushie. Dave murmurs agreement, saying that he’s coming along as well. Karkat frowns, he was going mostly to talk to Terezi. John should be okay on his own for a few minutes, right? 

“Hey, John, we won’t be long, sorry to ditch you like this,” he says, clasping John’s shoulder softly. 

“Karkat, go get your drinks! I’ll be perfectly fine, I’m watching my favorite movie on the big screen!” he assures him, and Karkat finally gives up.

“Okay, but text us if we’re taking too long, okay?” Dave adds, and they both walk out of the auditorium and back to the main entrance, where all the food and snacks are.

“Hey, what flavor do you want?” Dave asks, gesturing at the wide array of slush machines. 

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, we still have to buy our fucking cups,” Karkat says, leading him over to the line. Dave waits, seeming impatient. He looks down at Karkat, smiling. Karkat busies himself with his phone, arguing about the originality of 27 dresses, again. He brushes his hair out of his eyes, but his hand gets caught in a tangle, and he pulls on it distractedly, murmuring a string of curse words under his breath.

“Here, dude, I got it.” Dave says, quietly. He puts a hand behind Karkat’s neck, and uses the other to delicately pull his hair from his hand. Whoa, what the fuck? You can’t say the intimacy is unwelcome, but it sure is sudden.

“No, what the fuck Dave, what are you doing, don’t fucking touch me you useless nooksniffer-” Karkat says, but his curses get quieter as Dave runs a hand through Karkats hair, untangling his bangs a bit. He can’t refuse, Strider is looking at him like they do in the romcoms, and his chest tightens.

“See, I fixed it,” Dave says, quietly. Karkat grabs his wrist, and doesn’t let go, not even when they buy their drinks. 

One hand around his cola slush, one hand grasping Dave’s wrist tightly, they start to head back to the screen. “Hey, gotta piss,” Dave says, and Karkat frowns, letting go of his wrist, though he doesn’t want to. They walk into the bathroom, setting their things on the counter. While Dave does his business, Karkat looks at his phone, typing further insults to Terezi, his claws clicking against the screen. His brow is furrowed in concentration, he’s trying to get a point across. There were no cheap gags in 27 dresses, the jokes were entertaining!

Dave washes his hands, and Karkat starts to finish up his conversation. Karkat groans, leaning his head back on the wall. He ranted too much, and now TZ is idle.

Dave is saying something, but Karkat is busy, he types a string of responses into the window, so when Terezi gets around to answering, her ass will be served. Without warning, Dave puts his hands on the shorter boy’s shoulders. “Hey,” he says, looking at him. Karkat notices the concentration on his face. “She’s not gonna listen,” he says.

Karkat puts his phone down, staring at Dave. He slowly, tentatively, reaches out, putting a hand around his waist. He’s biting his lip, totally unsure. Dave runs a hand through his dark hair, and Karkat shivers. He puts a hand around Dave’s neck and pulls him closer. He leans into him, and presses their lips together.

He smiles into the kiss, eventually pulling back for air. Dave grabs his drink, and Karkat struggles not to put a hand to his lips like a teenage girl. “Well,” Dave starts, his voice cracking, “I fucking loved that,” he finishes.

Karkat beams at him.

^^^

Dave puts his hand in the other boy’s, smiling so hard his face hurts. Karkat’s hair is mussed from when he messed with it earlier, and Dave’s lips are still tingling. They walk back to the cinema slowly, bumping into each other ‘unintentionally.’ When they take their seats, Dave can’t help but replay the memory over and over in his head, his focus on the film totally lost. 

“Hey, John, were you alright with us being gone for a while?” Karkat says, and, oh yeah, they did totally ditch him earlier.

“Oh, yeah, you guys took a while, but I had Cyrus the Virus to keep me company!” he beams, and he knows there are no hard feelings.

His lips still seem to buzz with energy, and when the film is close to over, John jumps from his seat, reminding him that he’s been touching his finger to his lips for god knows how long.

“Hey, there’s a booth, holy shit!” John exclaims, watching the movie workers setting up a table, putting various Con Air merchandise on it. He zooms towards it, leaving you to watch the last of the movie next to Karkat.

He immediately slips his hand into Dave’s, scooting towards him in his seat. Dave regrets not doing this with him sooner. “So. John’s a third wheel, and he doesn’t even know it,” he starts.

“Oh my Gog, shut up, I’ve wanted this for so long.” He pulls Dave’s face towards him, surprising him. The kiss is short and soft, like a shared secret.

He turns away, trying to hide his blush, and scanning the crowd for John. Oh fuck, he’s staring. Oh fuck. He turns back towards Karkat, nodding his heads towards John, a desperate gesture. 

Karkat shrugs, feigning indifference, but his eyes are a little too wide for it to sell. “C’mon, let’s go tell him. I mean, wait,” Dave starts to stand, but falters. “Do you want to be in a thing with me?” he says.

“Well, if by ‘in a thing,’ you mean human boyfriends, yes,” he says condescendingly. “The first time I kissed you, you had literally just taken a piss. That’s dedication, dude.” Laughing, Dave takes his hand and leads him down the stairs, careful not to trip this time. John is waiting by the exit to the auditorium, his hands full of Con Air T-shirts and pens.

“So, is it a cute boyfriend thing, like I said?” John starts, his face in-between a smirk and a grin. He starts walking away, and they fall into step behind him. 

“Dude, we totally made out in the bathroom, and now we’re a total cute boyfriend thing. We weren’t when you asked before, so I technically wasn’t lying.” He’s blushing hard, and so is Karkat. John just laughs, but he seems to believe what was said. 

“Okay, that is one hundred perent confirmed of cuteness,” John says, and you all walk outside the cinema, holding your leftover snacks. “Well, I’ve got therapy in an hour, so I should probably go, but I’ll call you guys later, okay?” He says. 

“Yeah bro, as long as you don’t turn invisible on us again,” Dave says, wrapping John up into a hug. His bro needs some affection, he’s apparently been depressed and alone for way too long.

“Yeah John, you know how fast Dave can fill up your inbox.” Karkat smirks, grabbing your hand.

“Well, have fun with your new boyfriend, Dave! You too, Karks.” John says, just to make them squirm. 

Dave watches as John flies away, and grabs Karkat’s hand tighter. As John fades into the distance, Karkat squeezes back. “He’s gonna be okay, we won’t let it happen again,” he whispers into Dave’s ear. 

Dave knows he is right.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, It's a steaming pile of garbage but I tried. Nobody is really in character, whoops. A really huge fic is in the works, along with a side one, so stay tuned for that!


End file.
